Redefining Resilience: How to Recharge, not Endure

“Don’t tell them to be resilient, they’ll bite your head off!” – was the advice I got during a briefing call for an upcoming speaking event.

Well, I’m glad I checked for any sensitive topics…

It got me thinking about the definition of resilience. We might think of it as our ability to ‘bounce back’ or endure hard times. Sadly, resilience is too often used as an excuse. Larger organisations might avoid systemic issues or unrealistic workloads and simply blame the individuals themselves instead:

“You just need to be more resilient! Then you’d be able to handle it!”

This approach probably makes people feel powerless and out of control; and therefore less confident and able to handle challenges, pressure and uncertainty.

But we can’t improve what we can’t measure. So perhaps we need to be clear on what resilience really means.

The Cambridge dictionary says:

“the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened”

or, the Oxford Dictionary:

“the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”

Yet, in our charity, Mind Over Mountains, I’ve even heard comments like: “How on earth does walking in nature and mindfulness make you more resilient?!”

Perhaps this is because we mistake resilience for strength: an ability to endure, to keep going, toughness, to get our heads down and crack on.

For sure, challenging ourselves and enduring hardship is also a key component to building proactive resilience. Cold showers, ultra marathons, 5am gym sessions, bad weather: all build our threshold and ability to cope in hard times. After an earthquake on Everest, I don’t get too stressed if the bus is late nowadays.

But life is inherently difficult and sometimes we don’t get this choice. It’s not possible to remove all pressure, stress, hardship, uncertainty or toxic people from life. Our ability to cope with these situations also depends on how we respond to them and recharge.

For the record, walking in nature improves our physical health, reduces our risk of illness, lowers stress and blood pressure. Mindfulness promotes presence rather than anxiety, it gives us perspective and boosts positive thinking. Ever found yourself snapping or making mistakes after a poor nights’ sleep?

As a runner of 14+ years, I’ve always had one rest day per week for this same reason. This is what gives me the ability to go again and again without getting injured (most of the time). The same rule applies in our personal lives and businesses. As a coach I can’t deliver sessions back-to-back because of cognitive fatigue, and a run or coffee break between allows me to be fully present with each client.

Resilience has a number of components and if you remove one pole then the tent is at risk of collapsing. Resilience is a skill that we all need: but perhaps we need to redefine it altogether.

Want to learn more about my Resilience Rucksack model? For coaching and speaking with your team, then please get in touch.