A Problem Shared: The Power of Human Connection

The world feels heavier than usual at the moment and it got me thinking about the power of connection.

Even the introverts and ‘quiet’ leaders need social connection: perhaps opting for a walk or coffee with a friend, rather than a night out in a noisy pub. But connection also comes within ourselves and with our environment.

Last week I attended Anthropy in Cornwall – an overwhelmingly brilliant hub of inspiration and like-minded leaders – but by Saturday I needed nothing more than time alone to run in the Lake District hills.

Connection with others is a biological human need that stems from feeling safe in a tribe or community. Social connection even releases the hormone oxytocin which helps to reduce anxiety. It’s fundamental for our resilience in daily life and work.

It’s also been key on my various challenges. There was a particular moment on Climb The UK in 2017 when I was suffering with the onset of a chest infection, and the enormity of the task and thousands of miles still ahead weighed heavy on me. Cycling alone in the rain for a full day, shivering all over; it was hard not to spiral and let negative thoughts take over.

My good friend Rich had driven for hours to intercept me near Stirling, as I heard The Proclaimers ‘500 miles’ blasting out of his car window… Rich knows me better than most people – he knows how I think and react to stress.

One of the first things he asked was: “What do you need?”

There’s often a tendency to fix, to offer solutions: where we listen to respond rather than to understand. But when people genuinely take the time to listen, it makes all the difference. At 5am I pushed the door open and committed to the day, with Rich in tow to the summit of Ben Lawers. We were thrown sideways by wind and rain, but at least someone was in the trenches with me. I doubt that AI can ever replace that kind of real, human connection.

But having others around us doesn’t only offer practical support, it brings perspective and reduces the intensity of stress and emotions. As the saying goes: “a problem shared is a problem halved”. We found a Plan B and it brought a safety net that allowed me to carry on one more day, knowing I had someone nearby if things went downhill.

In The Chimp Paradox, the renowned and brilliant book by Professor Steve Peters, he talks about the concept of having a ‘troop’.

Perhaps our social media feeds give us the illusion of connection, with lots of transactional interactions and noise that only serves to make us feel more lonely. Inevitably there are benefits to this too. But maybe it’s important to ask:

How many of these people could I call for help when my car breaks down? Who could I chat to when I’m struggling? Who can I be my authentic, true self around? Make a list. Focus your time on those people instead. Recently this became a weekly goal to see a friend in person: for a cold water swim, run or coffee.

I saw this in action whilst climbing Cho Oyu, the sixth highest mountain in the world. In Tibet, internet is highly censored and social media can only be accessed via VPNs. We had to smuggle our satellite phones in our socks. We were in the middle of nowhere and there was no signal anyway. Being disconnected had allowed us to properly connect with ourselves and find our flow. Then one day, another team lent us their satellite router and suddenly everyone was reunited with their devices and feeds. The card games and conversation died. The base camp tent fell silent: you could have cut the mood with a spoon.

According to The Guardian, 2026 is the year for the ‘offline revolution’. We’re longing for real human connection. I’ve noticed a number of people recently leaving social media, citing mental health reasons or a ‘detox’. The language itself suggests the problem. I’m pretty sure ‘detoxing’ is for harmful substances – not a means of communication. The fact we’re described as ‘users’ speaks volumes.

Connection doesn’t necessarily stop challenges but it does make them easier to manage. Maybe it’s about getting out for a walk without our phones in hand. It’s checking in with a friend you haven’t seen for a while. It’s showing up intentionally and being present, rather than consuming and trying to please the masses. And asking people what they really need.

On that note, I’m logging off. Happy Easter everyone.